Movie Review: “Blood Widow”

 

   Blood Widow is a 2014 horror-movie directed by Jeremiah Buckhalt. I believe that this is Jeremiah’s directing debut, as I could not find anything else about him. The film stars Daniel Lilley, Brandon Kyle Peters, and Christopher de Padua. A roll call will tell you that the actors and actresses have yet to find their footing in the movie-industry as well.

   In other-words, a lot of little-known actors, a little known director, and a non-existent budget. This should probably answer your question about why you haven’t heard of this film.

   I hadn’t heard of Blood Widow either before I discovered it at Family Video and decided to let it have a few hours of my time and a few bits of change from my pocket. I didn’t expect very much from it, in-fact, the only reason that I rented it at all is because I liked the cover.

   It makes me think of Doll-face from Twisted Metal, and frankly, it looked ‘cool’. I feel like this film can easily prove the “Don’t judge by the cover” theory. Knowing me, I’d probably do it again, but, what will ya’ do?

   The film follows the story of Laurie and Hugh, a young couple that has just closed on their weekend home away from the city. Hugh decides to have a party without telling Laurie, blah, blah, and unbeknownst to them, the property next door is actually the remains of a boarding school. Why is this relevant? The sole survivor of a massacre that took place at the school hides there, wanting to be left alone. However, when she is disturbed, they unleash the sadistic figure into their lives.

   The premise itself sounds interesting enough by most horror-standards. However, the movie unfolds in a dryly and generic fashion. It follows the basic formula of introducing the characters and having them stumble before the antagonist. Let’s talk about the characters: They lack likeability or any real sense of development. They feel absolutely run-of-the-mill. Even some of the best horror-movies use this formulaic style, but the difference is that they prosper because the actors and actresses have the chemistry to keep it engaging. This one doesn’t have the same luxury. The characters aren’t written very well, and they don’t have much depth besides the expected cliches. Beyond that though, they fail at even resembling decency. It fails, there is nothing else to it besides that.

   The characters are bad and cheesy.

   The antagonist definitely fails at meeting any of the low expectations that I had for her. I expected more depth and character development. The only tidbit that we actually receive beyond anything else is the lead-female discovering a notebook that tells her story. The delivery is definitely bad at this. It feels like the film cherry-picked and borrowed elements from other horrors, but failed to do them well at all. It definitely failed at achieving the one necessary element of a slasher flick: a slasher with a presence.

   The look was cool, but there wasn’t enough build or strength behind her character, and the special-effects were atrociously bad. There is no excuse for some of it. I realize that they had a limited budget but that is no excuse. A lot of horror-films manage to excel without a budget, the secret is to work around the short-comings, not make them even more noticeable.

   Above all else, the biggest criticism that I can say about this film is that it is boring. It never really captures my interest, and it never really installs any worthwhile depth in the characters. I like some cheesy horror-films, after all, I follow Full Moon films like a lost-puppy. The difference is that while the budget sucks, the characters are usually colorful and entertaining. And because … puppets are cool, but whatever.

   In conclusion, Blood Widow looked cool in-terms of appearance, and the origin of the character was interesting. However, instead of focusing on what was interesting about the film, it spent its time focusing on what wasn’t. Hence why the film fails at offering anything that I think is worth recommending.

   Thanks for reading…

Rating: – Bad

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